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Rambling and Discontentedness
The closer my birthday approaches, the more I can't help but feeling stuck where I am.
I have a good job, an apartment I live in on my own (though it's messy as fuck right now) and I have a really good set-up, all things considered.
But it's not doing the work I expected, I'm not pursuing the hobbies I used to, and while I know that life doesn't always turn out the way you expect, I can't help but feel a little discontent and like I've let myself down.
Like I'm wasting the best years of my life.
It's raining today, and I love it.
And it makes me want to move because it almost never rains here in California. Melissa and Julie have made it clear that I could move in with them if I ever wanted to...and I have to admit that it's tempting. Olympia is probably too much of a small-town for me but I would love the rain and I'd love to be somewhere new and just...idk. I'd love to be in a place where there are windows again so I don't feel like my life is a series of days in which I move from one small enclosed space with a computer to another.
Blugh.
At the same time, I love living in California. I never want to leave it. It's near everything I could possibly want and...once you move out of California it can be really difficult to afford moving back.
So yeah, I think maybe I just need like, a really solid vacation or more weekend trips or something.
Maybe I'll see if I can go visit Melissa and Julie for my birthday or something. Go to Seattle for the night idk.
Or maybe I'll try to make Disneyland a thing after all.
Blah blah I sound depressed as fuck I'm just. Going to end this here.
/)_(\
I have a good job, an apartment I live in on my own (though it's messy as fuck right now) and I have a really good set-up, all things considered.
But it's not doing the work I expected, I'm not pursuing the hobbies I used to, and while I know that life doesn't always turn out the way you expect, I can't help but feel a little discontent and like I've let myself down.
Like I'm wasting the best years of my life.
It's raining today, and I love it.
And it makes me want to move because it almost never rains here in California. Melissa and Julie have made it clear that I could move in with them if I ever wanted to...and I have to admit that it's tempting. Olympia is probably too much of a small-town for me but I would love the rain and I'd love to be somewhere new and just...idk. I'd love to be in a place where there are windows again so I don't feel like my life is a series of days in which I move from one small enclosed space with a computer to another.
Blugh.
At the same time, I love living in California. I never want to leave it. It's near everything I could possibly want and...once you move out of California it can be really difficult to afford moving back.
So yeah, I think maybe I just need like, a really solid vacation or more weekend trips or something.
Maybe I'll see if I can go visit Melissa and Julie for my birthday or something. Go to Seattle for the night idk.
Or maybe I'll try to make Disneyland a thing after all.
Blah blah I sound depressed as fuck I'm just. Going to end this here.
/)_(\